For the last week my sister Nicole and I have been driving around the lower part of the UK. We’ve been down to the Southwest of England and up to the top of Wales to the mountains of Snowdonia, and over to the East Midlands where I am staying until October. During these drives, the scenery, the people, the spontaneous ‘squirrel’ moments that we share… there is a common bond. We both enjoy life as much as we can. I’ve noticed these aspects in her and it has helped me feel like I am on the right track, that I’m really not a bad person and that I do have something to contribute to this world,
I have been cruel to myself for so many years that it is sometimes hard to pull myself out of this emotional gutter. As soon as anything goes wrong in my life I ask myself what I’ve done wrong? I’ve worked hard throughout the years to conquer this feeling by balancing it, by helping others whenever and however I can. As a writer, a singer, I do my best to bring out words that will help others think, that will make others feel like they matter.
The thoughts of ‘I don’t matter’ have been painstakingly replaced with ‘I do matter’. I say painstakingly because when you grow up in an environment of believing that you aren’t good enough, trying to turn that around seems like you are being selfish. Even though I don’t go down this deep dark hole that I used to go down, I do still feel that stabbing pain, as dull as it might feel now, it is still there.
Like attracts Like.
It’s imperative for us to look at our relationships. They are mirrors of ourselves. If we expect that somebody is going to take us away from all of our buried bullshit, think again. There is an old saying that I repeat to myself over and over again when encountering new relationships, or people in my life… You cannot attract what you are not.
Whatever vibration that we hold within ourselves is what will come into our lives. If we have a spiteful, hateful, and cruel vibration then that same vibration will enter our lives. [go to my webpage davidreedwatson.com to read the full transcript]
Peace!
