Why do we do what we do in this world? Do we do things to make other people happy, do we do things to make ourselves happy, or is it a combination of both? I believe that we need a combination of both, a balance. You go too far one way, (making other people happy), and you end up losing your true self, becoming needy, always relying on others to make you happy… you go too far the other way and you’re a Narcissist, (the Me! Me! Me! show, which is kind of needy in itself). Both sides, because there isn’t a balance, rely on others to tell them how special they are. So what would a good balance look like then?
Here is an example of having a balance of the two;
Recently we went on vacation with some close friends to do some wine tasting in California. One of the evenings we started discussing all of the ‘no no’s’… Politics and Religion. Why do I consider these people close friends? Because we each had our own opinions about the political climate as well as religion, traditions, faith, etc. We were having a discussion, a debate. We all learned something that night about each other and why each one of us felt the way we did about each subject…. and we’re still friends! Yes, we are still friends because we each respected the others opinions. I’ll tell you something that we all learned as well…
We believe what we believe because of the conditions we’ve lived in. Because of our experiences. And not one of us have experienced the same thing. So why would we expect to have the same views? Diversity. Diversity leads to growth. Growth leads to change. And change is the only constant in this universe. Change can be good if we let it be.
I’ve often shared with people my philosophy… I don’t believe in right or wrong. I believe in what works or what doesn’t work. When we take on the philosophy of ‘what works’ or ‘what doesn’t work’ we say that no one person is right or wrong, because everybody has their own opinion. Opinions can be so varied from person to person. As I stated above… not one of us were raised the same, nor with the same beliefs or ideas. So when I see people rallying behind one candidate or another (I’m using the political candidates as a reference because of the climate right now. I’ve seen friends ‘de-friend’ others because they believe something different from themselves or because they’ve been attacked for having an opposing belief.) I don’t say that those people are ‘wrong’ or ‘right’. I look at each unique situation and see why each group would rally behind one or the other candidate. Now, do I agree with them? No, but that is my journey, not theirs.
If we had a balance within ourselves we wouldn’t be concerned one iota about what somebody else believes or not. There is a reason why we have the candidates that we have today. They are who we are. They are only mimicking what we all believe or have been brainwashed to believe. Yes, I said brainwashed. We’ve lost original thought. We are so caught up in our Facebook or Twitter feeds that we can’t think for ourselves anymore and all of this has become a popularity contest. Numerous times I’ve seen people re-post Dogma that they’ve been sent without doing their own research. There is a truth in the saying…
“Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.” – Benjamin Franklin
So I guess what I’m asking you is this… “What do you believe?” Are you afraid to say what you really believe because of what people might say to you? Talk to me… you know that I will be the guy that talks politics and religion. Why? Because whatever you might share with me, I might learn something… or vise versa.
So what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of losing friends? My question to you would be… are those friends worth having in your life? If you can’t have people around you that are helping you grow as a human being then they aren’t worth having.
Peace out!
D
