Along my journey I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving. Many times along this vast journey there have been imbalances depending on the relationship or time in my life. I think that can be said for most of us, although I’d bet that a good majority will say that they’ve given WAY more than received. This might be true, but I’d venture to say that our Ego has those numbers a little skewed (I can hear ALL of my ex’s screaming right now, “That’s right asshole! I gave you everything!”).
I believe that a lot of giving and received comes down to expectations.
When we are in love this energy exchange is evident. You bring her flowers, she makes you coffee. You both sit on the porch swing chatting away, sipping your coffee, she leans on your shoulder and you feel the energy exchange between the both of you. It’s bliss.
You are both doing this without expectations. The love that you share, the mutual respect, the adoration, is flowing between you both. In the metaphysical world this is called ‘balance’, the Yin/Yang.
Let’s use this in an example…
He brings her flowers every day. They’ve been together for awhile now and one day he is just super busy at the office, he comes home without flowers. She is so accustomed to him bringing him flowers, but she doesn’t say anything, but instead of letting it go she doesn’t make him coffee… and so the descent begins.
Mind you, I made her out to be the spiteful one, but it works both ways.
He brings her flowers every day, but one day he forgets and feels bad about it, but doesn’t say anything. The next day comes and the guilt has set in, but he says nothing about it. Eventually he starts to feel guilty, and then he starts making up in his head that she doesn’t appreciate him anyway, “Why do I always bring her flowers? What does she do for me?” This mental chatter goes back and forth and he finally blows up at her. She, on the other hand feels like she has been hit by a Mack truck. Where the hell did that come from?! I know this from experience… I’ve been that guy.
So how do we stop this madness?
C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.
Those 13 letters will save your life. Communication is the key. Seriously, it’s as simple as that. If you start feeling resentful, sit and talk to your partner. Allow them to discuss your feeling with them. Remember, your feelings are your feelings and if you feel a certain way it’s not dumb, or stupid, or selfish. They are your feelings, no matter how skewed they are. Make a time every day to sit with your partner and communicate your feelings. It’s your partner, not your buddy at a bar. This is the person that you’re supposed to confide in. Not dump on mind you… but to share your feelings.
If you aren’t in a partnership right now, that is ok. Now is a good time for you to see where in your past you might have built up resentment, where you might have created a mountain out of a molehill.
Look at it deeply. Do this now and clear it all up to prepare yourself for your next relationship. Dig deep into your soul and see what has stopped you from sharing in the past. What has stopped you from giving in the past… and most of all….
What has stopped you from receiving in the past?
Look back all the way to your childhood. Be meticulous. Look at different situations in your past where you’ve expected things. Be as non-judgmental as you can. Don’t go into beat-up mode for your past mistakes, use them as tools, to learn how NOT to do something.
And again… remember those 13 letters. COMMUNICATION. Without communication you can’t learn from tools that you’ve been using in the past, you have to acquire new tools. Be open to dialog with others, be transparent, give freely, receive freely, and never expect anything other than the lesson that you need to learn.
Peace!
P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com
http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson
