I’ve enjoyed my time here just outside of Austin, Texas with my cousins. As I continue, yet again, across this vast land I remind myself why I am taking this journey in the first place. I am doing it to really dig deep into my soul to understand who I am, to recognize debilitating patterns, and to become a better human being.
What have I learned on this leg of the journey?
There are certain ‘beliefs’ handed down through our family tree that aren’t necessarily ours. For instance, when my cousin Aili was doing my oral history (she’s a writer and historian) I was talking about when I would sing in church, my Mother would tell me,
“Hush David, not so loud. No need to boast.”
I asked Aili where that came from. She looked at me and told me that was something that runs through our family and it goes back generations to the Victorian era. She told me back then that it was improper to sing around the dinner table (but our family secretly did it anyway). There was a ‘keep to yourself and don’t let the neighbors know your business’ kind of mentality that was never really released from our psych.
I think of how my voice was stunted all of those years because of this belief. Singing in public was something I had to really come to terms with. I know this might seem strange to you reading this because I’ve sung in public for so many years… but, and this is HUGE for me…
I would hide behind a microphone and always have a band behind me. Although I’ve done plenty of acoustic gigs in my lifetime, it still made me nervous because it was only me, raw, focused on… the ‘boasting’ belief was full on in my face.
So… what is my point?
Where in your life have you adopted a belief that isn’t necessarily yours? That’s not your parents, or your grandparents? That goes back generations? What can we do about this?
I’m fortunate to have a historian in a family that can put the pieces together much easier than most, so for you, it might take a bit more digging.
What I’m trying to say is this…
When we become our true authentic selves, when we allow ourselves to strip away our limited belief systems, we allow ourselves to shine. For me, I am going to boast. I am going to get out of my own way and allow myself to shine brighter than I have before because I’m realizing more and more along that journey that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what I am giving.
Peace!
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