Category: David Reed Watson

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I am not who I was

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A big part of my spiritual growth is recognizing that I am not who I was, and recognizing that the inner child, that dark abandoned aspect of my developmental years, still thinks I am who I was.

There have been many things of my past that I am not proud of. Things that I’ve done which now I wouldn’t even venture to do, were, non-the-less… done. So where do we take ownership of these things and put them on a shelf, and where do we realize that some of those aspects are still in our newer versions of ourselves?

I believe the key to understanding these former aspects and the growth that we’ve accomplished have, in fact, made us who we are today. It’s recognizing that where we were at that time, we were using the tools that we knew how to use for our best version of ourselves… at that time. Hopefully we’ve grown from that. Some do, and some don’t. It’s not for us to decide. All we can do as spiritual ‘be’ings is to recognize that they are no different where they are then where you are. So… recognition of the change from who we are is in fact validation that we are no longer our former selves, and at the same time there may be shadow aspects of ourselves that we still cling onto for some false sense of security.

I left my small town of Granby, Massachusetts, when I was 17. That was 39 years ago. I am not who I was then. So many different variations of who I am have changed over the many years. I would like to think that I am a completely different person. And here lies the dichotomy…

The other day I allowed a picture of my ex to throw me over the edge. I went into a deep over analysis of betrayal, remorse, depressed feelings of something left unresolved. After the episode passed, and after talking to several close friends, I felt like an idiot. I felt like all of this work that I had been doing on myself had been a complete waste. Well, after my Chernobyl incident, I went back to square one and started doing the work again. I started meditating again, and writing songs. I actually wrote a song called ‘One Love’. It is a song about loving ourselves and knowing that whatever we go through, the ups and downs, they are all part of our growth. I should know this, but when I’m having a nuclear meltdown all of that knowledge gets cast aside and the inner child who was abandoned feels abandoned, yet again.

I started doing this inner child work while riding my motorcycle across Texas. Texas is HUGE with nothing much to see except oil derricks, big open plains, and pickup trucks… LOTS of pickup trucks. It was probably the best place to do this inner child work. As the miles of nothingness ticked away the deeper I went peeling away the layers of myself to get to the root of all of this stuff that had been plaguing me since the age of 7.

What I’ve learned might help you as well to recognize some of these patterns that we all have, these programs that run in the background that create these limiting beliefs of ourselves. The first thing to recognize when you have a Chernobyl event like I just had, is this…

  1. You will lose your mind. You will have a temporary amnesia while it is happening because the programming comes front and center and takes over. It’s a defense mechanism where the child needs to feel security. Nothing else matters except that security.
  2. Don’t beat yourself up for the meltdown.
  3. Recognize the meltdown as not going backwards, but yet another part of the onion that needs to be peeled away.
  4. And last but not least… give yourself credit for recognizing it as not who you are, but that inner child wanting attention. It’s now time for you to be the adult and let that inner child know that it will be ok. That you’ve got this.
  5. Ok… one more. Thank your friends for being there during the meltdown because at some point you’re going to be the shoulder that they will need, so put your hazmat suit in the closet for future use.

So, what was the lesson for me and hopefully for you as well?

When we lose someone that we have loved we need to look at why we fell in love with these people in the first place. When a breakup happens we tend to only look at the ugly aspects of it instead of the good. We have to remind ourselves why we fell in love in the first place. Whatever the reason may have been at the time, that doesn’t matter. We did it. So what did you learn? Did you learn that you can never love again or that now you can love even more, knowing now what you’ve learned about yourself?

I would like to believe the latter.

David Reed Watson

WRITTEN BY

David Reed Watson

Singer/Songwriter/Reiki Master/ Human ‘Be’ing

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What do you expect?

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Along my journey I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving. Many times along this vast journey there have been imbalances depending on the relationship or time in my life. I think that can be said for most of us, although I’d bet that a good majority will say that they’ve given WAY more than received. This might be true, but I’d venture to say that our Ego has those numbers a little skewed (I can hear ALL of my ex’s screaming right now, “That’s right asshole! I gave you everything!”).

I believe that a lot of giving and received comes down to expectations.

When we are in love this energy exchange is evident. You bring her flowers, she makes you coffee. You both sit on the porch swing chatting away, sipping your coffee, she leans on your shoulder and you feel the energy exchange between the both of you. It’s bliss.

You are both doing this without expectations. The love that you share, the mutual respect, the adoration, is flowing between you both. In the metaphysical world this is called ‘balance’, the Yin/Yang.

Let’s use this in an example…

He brings her flowers every day. They’ve been together for awhile now and one day he is just super busy at the office, he comes home without flowers. She is so accustomed to him bringing him flowers, but she doesn’t say anything, but instead of letting it go she doesn’t make him coffee… and so the descent begins.

Mind you, I made her out to be the spiteful one, but it works both ways.

He brings her flowers every day, but one day he forgets and feels bad about it, but doesn’t say anything. The next day comes and the guilt has set in, but he says nothing about it. Eventually he starts to feel guilty, and then he starts making up in his head that she doesn’t appreciate him anyway, “Why do I always bring her flowers? What does she do for me?” This mental chatter goes back and forth and he finally blows up at her. She, on the other hand feels like she has been hit by a Mack truck. Where the hell did that come from?! I know this from experience… I’ve been that guy.

So how do we stop this madness?

C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.

Those 13 letters will save your life. Communication is the key. Seriously, it’s as simple as that. If you start feeling resentful, sit and talk to your partner. Allow them to discuss your feeling with them. Remember, your feelings are your feelings and if you feel a certain way it’s not dumb, or stupid, or selfish. They are your feelings, no matter how skewed they are. Make a time every day to sit with your partner and communicate your feelings. It’s your partner, not your buddy at a bar. This is the person that you’re supposed to confide in. Not dump on mind you… but to share your feelings.

If you aren’t in a partnership right now, that is ok. Now is a good time for you to see where in your past you might have built up resentment, where you might have created a mountain out of a molehill.

Look at it deeply. Do this now and clear it all up to prepare yourself for your next relationship. Dig deep into your soul and see what has stopped you from sharing in the past. What has stopped you from giving in the past… and most of all….

What has stopped you from receiving in the past?

Look back all the way to your childhood. Be meticulous. Look at different situations in your past where you’ve expected things. Be as non-judgmental as you can. Don’t go into beat-up mode for your past mistakes, use them as tools, to learn how NOT to do something.

And again… remember those 13 letters. COMMUNICATION. Without communication you can’t learn from tools that you’ve been using in the past, you have to acquire new tools. Be open to dialog with others, be transparent, give freely, receive freely, and never expect anything other than the lesson that you need to learn.

Peace!

P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com

http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson

What are you committed to?

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Lately I’ve been pondering and studying manifestation and how manifestation takes a bit of commitment. We are usually pretty gung ho in the beginning but eventually it starts to fizzy out once we don’t see any results. A week goes by and we’re pacing the kitchen and wondering if we’ve done it wrong… so what do we do? We re-commit ourselves with a different idea thinking that the last one didn’t work. Father/Mother/God is going…. “Slow down there Jr.! If you’re committed, you’re committed, right?” I guess in a way Father/Mother/God (F.M.G.) is asking us if we are serious.

I mean, let me put it this way. Let’s say that everything that you’ve ever wanted came to you immediately. Think of all of the mundane things you wish for during the day. Would you really want all of your thoughts to manifest in front of your eyes? Really? I know I wouldn’t. You wouldn’t want to see the shit that goes through my head.

So, F.M.G. has devised a fail-safe way to manifest. They want to make sure you’re serious. You’ve heard the expression, “Good things come to those that wait.” If you truly believe in this stuff you have to trust that it will come but most of us give up and change our minds which must make F.M.G. crazy!

So here the question lies… how committed are you? Do you really want to see change? Are you committed to allowing it to happen around you and trust that it will as long as you are doing the work and moving forward?

It might take time, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that goes for timing as well.

Don’t give up or get discouraged too quickly. Just breathe and ‘Know’.

Peace!

P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com

I was so much older then. I’m younger than that now.

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Yesterday I was hit full front with my past. Literally. I got to see how I have hurt others with my insecurities and where I still need to do the work.

Reparations come in many forms, be it from past relationships, to politics, religion, race… but they are essential to our personal growth. What they are saying is, “I’m sorry for the past and although I can’t change the past I can do my best to change our future.” It’s saying, “I’m sorry, I am not that person anymore.”

When we recognize where we’ve hurt others, where they have hurt us, it is saying that we must mend those old pains in order for us to grow. It is also saying to do the work. Dive deep and recognize your role so that these patterns never happen again.

I’ve mentioned before that I am diving deep into my subconscious and working on my abandonment issues. I had mentioned about Bruce Lipton talking about how the subconscious takes over when we aren’t being mindful. I know that for many years my subconscious was driving me, while consciously I was creating my own hell. Some do it through alcohol, some through drugs, some through sex, some through relationships. Whatever coping mechanism we use, they need to be looked at and recognized as just that… coping mechanisms. Nothing more.

When we look at these coping mechanisms we start to recognize where they’ve shown up in our lives, and when. They usually show up when we think we’re stuck, when we think that the answers will never come. We start to feel hopeless, when we say, “Here we go again. I’m just a fuck up.”

So do the work. Do it today. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about it instead of hiding it. You might be surprised… they might thank you or they might leave. But is it worth living your life like this until the day you die?

Do the work.

Peace!

P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com

http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson

Into each Life some Rain must Fall

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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote that in his poem, ‘ The Rainy Day’. We’re from New England, and one thing we’ve learned as New Englander’s is that if you wait long enough, change will come, the rain will stop.

When we get in that rainy day funk, look at it as a blessing. I can tell you, after living in Las Vegas where it rained once in a blue moon, when it rained I welcomed it like an old friend, the downtime, the quiet time that reminded me of those old days in New England.

If you find yourself in a position where the rainy days of your mind are more frequent than desired it might be time for you to take another perspective because you can’t keep moving forward with the same tools in your toolbox that didn’t work in the past. It might be a wake up call from Father/Mother/God of what doesn’t work. And when something doesn’t work we need to get out of our [tool]box, or as they say, think outside of our box.

But how can you think outside of your box if you don’t know what you don’t know?

Ah Ha! That’s a great question!

When I started my journey as a life coach back in 2002 we did exercises called ‘stretches’. We would force ourselves to do things that made us completely uncomfortable. I remember one of those ‘stretches’ where I had to go out on the beach with a paperclip and come back with something different. Some people in our group came back with physical cash, some came back with only the paperclip that they had started with. The ones that came back with something different than the paperclip were willing to get out of their box, release their story of what it should look like, or what it HAD looked like their whole life. They were willing to see something different, and that is where you need to be, mentally, if you find yourself repeating the same old story.

Peace!

P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki to everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com

http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson

Get on your Cycle and Ride!

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Ok… Freddie actually said ‘Get on your ‘bike’ and ride, but on the metaphysical journey this cycle is never ending. As soon as we end one journey we begin another.

No matter how many times I’ve started/completed a cycle the monkey mind inevitably jumps in to remind us that we’re still the same. But are we? That depends. What did we learn from the last cycle? Did we learn enough and dive deep enough within ourselves, so much so that it was completely uncomfortable?

If you did (and I’m assuming you have) then the monkey mind will be even louder.

DAVE!!!! Come on! I did this journey so that I could heal, damn it!

I’ll ask you this then… How old are you? How long have these programs, these limiting beliefs been running our lives?

As I go deeper and deeper, peeling the onion layers away, I start to hone in on deeper issues, patterns… some of them we can’t see unless we’ve worked on other areas of our lives. As the saying goes, “We don’t know what we don’t know, until we know it.”

So… when the monkey mind starts its chatter again, that is where we need to hone in. That is the next step in the journey. It’s not saying that you’re a complete mess, it’s just another program of belief that we need to clean up.

Why do you think ignorance is bliss? It’s because when we take this journey of enlightenment we begin the healing journey. It hurts. It’s difficult. It takes focus. It takes time. But if we stay in the matrix, doing the same old thing, complaining about the same old stuff, continuing the same old patterns, we are miserable. Understanding WHY we are miserable is the healing journey.

I know it sounds hopeless, but it’s not. As the layers peel away we start to realize that giving of ourselves becomes more gratifying. The focus is off of ourselves and synchronicities start to unfold.

No longer are you the victim.

Peace!

P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free. If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com

 

New Ground

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My new journey begins today. Yesterday was a day of fatigue and I needed to lay in bed, rest, and reflect on the whole journey that I’ve taken before starting on to the next journey.

What is different about me?

The past is the past. Whatever happened then is no longer relevant in my life. I can say that with the utmost truth as if whatever happened in the past was a dream, a ‘story’, that I lived, or my perception of what I lived. My past ‘story’ is not my present truth.

When our truth starts to unfold there is no longer a need to validate our truth. Just living our truth is the only path. I’m not saying that whatever happened in my past didn’t effect me… not at all. What I’m saying is, that whatever happened in my past happened for a reason and that now I know fully in my heart that I am where I am supposed to be. Not physically. Mentally.

I will say this again, as I’ve said all along this last journey.

Everybody should do this.

Everybody should have the time to reflect on their past, understand our past, mourn our past, and then file it away with the rest of the history books only to reference it in conversation to help others move forward. It should never be taken off the shelf to claim victimhood. We are not victims and to live as a victim will never allow you to move forward.

Amongst my ‘readings’ (audiobooks) while on my Harley there were case studies after case studies where cancer survivors looked back at the profound changes that happened in their lives and that they will only talk about the cancer in reference to the past and that most of them don’t even want to talk about it… not from fear that it will return, but because that is not their truth. And each one was grateful for the change in their lives. You would think that they would reference the experience as something horrible that has messed up their whole lives, but no… they were grateful that now they live their life in such a profoundly different way that you would never know they had such a horrible dis-ease. I’ve never had cancer, nor would I want it, but the point was well taken.

Live your truth at all costs. Don’t let society, family, friends, or situations sway you from your truth. Give of yourself even when you think you are unable to, and to always send love to everyone around you… and mean it.

Peace!

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